I’m a wife of 18 years, mom of four, housekeeper, family manager, and career woman, amongst other titles. My life is very busy and hectic at times. There’s always so much to do with all my many responsibilities. I’m usually tired or exhausted. My husband’s tired out, too! He works and shares the load of taking care of our family and running the home. When I have any free time, I prefer to relax in my bedroom and watch a movie, read, or do nothing. And pretty much the same for hubby.
With both of us being tired and with the never-ending list of responsibilities, it’s easy for dating each other to be put on the back burner. In all honesty, going out, just the two of us takes some extra effort. One of those is making sure the kids are taken care of while we’re out. Another major concern is money. Can we afford to go out on a date often? Not really. But we make it happen! Not as often as we would like, but we try to go out on dates as often as possible. It’s important to us. So we send those text messages and make those phone calls to make arrangements for the kids. We’re blessed to have close family members who don’t charge us to babysit, and we do the same for them. We also spend less money in other areas, so we can have money to go on an inexpensive date.
I don’t declare to be some relationship expert, but I have been happily married for 18 years, so I do know a thing or two! Please note that being happily married doesn’t mean everything is perfect, we never disagree, or don’t have any challenges. When we spend some time together alone, it helps us overcome whatever life throws at us. Going on dates provides many benefits in our marriage. Based on our experience, I’ve learned the many reasons why it’s important to date the love of my life!
IT’S IMPORTANT FOR US TO DATE
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for a month, a year, or 18 years like us. Dating allows you to reconnect. If you don’t date often, you will lose a sense of connection because usually when you’re together, everything is about the kids, home, and bills. But what about you, your dreams, goals, and interests? You’d be surprised what new thing you will learn about your spouse, or you may discover you have something else in common. Even after 18 years of our married life, I’m learning more about him.
As I said earlier, I’m one tired momma, but once hubby and I get out of the house, I get a burst of energy. Not only that, but I feel recharged after hanging out with him. I feel like I’m more than someone’s momma and household runner! I come home feeling full of life. Going out helps keep our marriage alive because going through our normal routine of adulting can become mundane and boring. If a couple isn’t careful, that can spill over into your marriage. You’ll start saying, “All we do is work, pay bills, and take care of the kids”! Those things are great (minus the bills), but what about what you do for your marriage? We need to break the normal routine and do something that we enjoy doing to prevent boredom in our marriage.
All my dates with hubby are romantic in some sort of way. It doesn’t have to involve flowers and candlelight for it to be romantic. Just going out on a date with him, no kids involved, and staring at each other, is romantic in itself. It’s like falling deeper in love with him. We take advantage of those few hours, quality time away from the kids, and just be adults.
My husband is my BFF, and just like any relationship, it needs working on. Dating strengthens our friendship because we spend that time communicating about whatever it is we want to talk about — like an adult conversation, not about the kid’s report cards and Ayden’s recent temper tantrum. Another plus is not having to worry about our kids overhearing something they don’t need to know about or butting in the conversation. We have each other’s undivided attention, and we spend it wisely because we already know we have to get back home afterwards. Being able to talk about things helps to grow your marriage.
Our marriage is our priority. We need for our marriage to be loving, happy, and resilient. It’s the foundation of the family that we built together. We don’t want to live a miserable life, so we put effort and work into our marriage. We don’t take our marriage vows lightly, and we try our very best to do what is required for healthy marriages. Our kids are watching us, and it’s important to be genuine examples for our children. I love when I put on a nice outfit and tell my kids that Dad and I are going on a date! They smile. When my husband asks me out on a date, it is telling me that I am important to him and he enjoys being around me. And that works both ways.
Going on a date with my spouse provides all those benefits and more. No more offering excuses about why we can’t go out on a date: We may not be able to really afford a date for another 10 years or so, or the kids may not be old enough to stay home by themselves for a while. And keep in mind, dates don’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to be going out to a fine restaurant for dinner, but perhaps a neighborhood cafe, a live show, sports game, or bowling alley. You can even stay home for a date, perhaps when the kids are tucked in and asleep, you play a game or watch a movie. We tend to date a lot at home because it’s convenient and cost-effective, but it’s nothing like getting out of the house, so we slide those in, too! The bottom line here is when couples spend quality time with each other, it blesses their marriages in more ways than one!
How has dating your spouse benefited your relationship? I would love to learn about it and — my husband and I might be able to relate.